The worst movie you've ever seen?

[aylinn]

To me it's "Norbit" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477051/)

I hate this movie so much that if I were to describe it I would have to use a lot of swear words. Everything was bad about this movie. First of all, it's offensive and rude. Second of all the jokes are not funny. I spent the whole 1,5 hours watching this crap and I realized that to survive this movie you must be a masochist (what surprised me, 'cause I thought I'm not one).
I liked Eddie Murphy. I write 'liked' because I lost my all respect for him. Making fun of fat people in the way he did it was way over the top. I'm not fat but I felt offended by such jokes.
Who gave money to produce this crap? The writer should be banned and write screenplays for some porno movies for people who find it enjoyable when others laugh at them and make them feel like a piecie of s***t.

I'd rather watch "The Revenge of the Sith" again than this. And "Revenge" was a stupid movie. A beautiful example that Lucas shouldn't write screenplays.

[DrWho42]

Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (SPOILER: my internal organs actually twinged at how annoying the twist ending was right when Bela shoots Sammy Petrillo (a Jerry Lewis wannabe) and we learn it was just a dream..)
Monster A-Go Go (monster disappears before the "climax"...)
"Manos": The Hands of Fate (a film made on a bet by a fertiliser salesman that he couldn't make a succesful horror movie on the budget of $19,000... Need I say more? Coincidentally, the Wikipedia article got featured: January 30, 2008 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Today%27s_featured_article/January_30%2C_2008))

[Thoth]

This year? Hmmm...Bloodrayne.

[Spencerian]

In comparison to "Manos" (done great justice on MST:3K), there is one movie I saw last year that makes "Manos" an Oscar Best Picture nominee:

Avoid this one at all costs for all reasons (I only saw it because I brought my son to see it):
Dragon War (D-War) (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/d_war/)

Dishonorable mention for last year (mostly due to its excessive and unnecessary liberties of taking an already fun story and twisting it just to sell to kids whose parents weren't born when the original cartoon was aired, unlike me): Disney's pale (albeit weakly entertaining) version of Underdog (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/underdog/).

While the Rotten Tomatoes link shows that D-War was better rated than Underdog, the latter was harmless. At least I had a clue as to what would happen. But D-War completely violated the basic story setups for hero behavior as well as having absolutely no plot (and mean that explicitly...none).

[Thoth]

Well now, I was going to watch it, but I may avoid it now.

At least I didn't buy it...

:)

[Shane]

To many to name...

[Malcolm]

I have watched many stupid movies, ut now only 300 comes to mind ...

[frakk`up]

i go for "the hunt for eagle one"... what a stupid movie, despite christopher walken (who is a genius)

[OrionFour]

The only movie I've ever walked out on... Godzilla

[aylinn]

The only movie I've ever walked out on... Godzilla
I didn't even bothered going to the cinema. The only Godzilla I tolerate is the one form Japan (although it's still a crap) :D

Also, I have to add "Starship Troopers". Jeez, I was watching this s***t and I couldn't believe I's wasting my time for that.

[Dwyn2435]

Meet The Spartans was the latest bad movie i've seen.

[Joe Beaudoin Jr.]

"Date Movie", "Epic Movie"... basically any film made by those same idiots who made those two.

I can tolerate (barely) "Starship Troopers", specifically when I'm in a state of either sick delirium or inebriation.

"300" was fun, but it's hardly a movie worth watching again or owning on DVD, for that matter. It is CGI garnish, nothing more, and it doesn't hold a candle to "Sin City".

I'll also add that I loathe "V for Vendetta", because it's an overrated movie whose message I do not agree with at all.

[DrWho42]

Just like "Reference Movie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpWOZmp6ajY)"... Makes me wonder what the last good slapstick movie was...

I also thought "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" was horrible myself... A film a friend of my gf's made us see..

[OrionFour]

I didn't even bothered going to the cinema. The only Godzilla I tolerate is the one form Japan (although it's still a crap) :D

Yeah I don't know what I was thinking. Interestingly enough, the movie was so bad that any other releases in the franchise are banned until 2013.

[Shane]

Anything that has 2 stars or less on my Facebook reviews I hate.... and there is over 40 of them.

[aylinn]

"Date Movie", "Epic Movie"... basically any film made by those same idiots who made those two.

I can tolerate (barely) "Starship Troopers", specifically when I'm in a state of either sick delirium or inebriation.

"300" was fun, but it's hardly a movie worth watching again or owning on DVD, for that matter. It is CGI garnish, nothing more, and it doesn't hold a candle to "Sin City".

I'll also add that I loathe "V for Vendetta", because it's an overrated movie whose message I do not agree with at all.

I also hate "Date Movie" "Epic Movie" and all what is entitled Sth movie. I watched both and during "Date Movie" I didn't laugh but during "Epic Movie" I laughed once... but it was still a pathetic movie.

As to 300 it was OK when they were fighting but all those moments when they were talking especially with Leonidas' wife were incredibly boring (although I like Lena Headey). Good effects but that's all that was good.

V for Vendetta... well... I say that comic book kicks ass. I read it before I saw the movie and I must say that I was a bit dissapointed with the movie. I didn't like what they did with Evey, she was so much better in comic. But since it was Natalie Portman, who played there I can forgive everything as long as she's in the movie ;)

[frakk`up]

Starship trooper is great! A bloody parody on everything that makes friendly facism fun!

[aylinn]

High School Musical. I saw both parts with my 12 year old cousin. After that I needed to play Manhunt... Such movies are used during tortures I bet.

[BSGfan-atic]

Normally I wouldn't stir up an old thread like this, but seeing that it is in the Rec Room, what the heck. Serious discussions are held elsewhere, right? I have to put in a plug for my worst movie of all time, past, present, and future - "Striptease," with Demi Moore. I used to think "Showgirls" was the worst, but "Striptease" makes that look like Shakespeare, Eugene O'Neil, and Bertold Brecht all rolled into one. "Striptease" should be used in film schools for the rest of eternity as the ultimate example of everything NOT to do when acting or making a movie.

"Starship Troopers" was a great book, but the film makers totally twisted the meaning when they made it. I bet Heinlein would be outraged if he knew that his book's title was used by that movie. This should be a warning to all estate managers and heirs out there - review the product before giving permission for use of a name or title.

[Bluce_Ree]

The worst film ever is Alien Vs Predator: Requiem.

[Zlaticko]

Should have named the movie: AvP: Fail

[DrWho42]

The worst film ever is Alien Vs Predator: Requiem.What about AVH: Alien vs. Hunter (http://www.theasylum.cc/product.php?id=137)?

[Bluce_Ree]

the original Nosferatu also sucks its sustenance directly from the rectum of cows.

[Prolescum]

Hawk the Slayer.
I cannot utter it without some kind of penance being exacted later. It's appalling in every single way and might even count against us when the day of reckoning is upon us.

[Zlaticko]

Blasphemy.

Disco Synthesizers.

Jack Palance, the Evil Voltan
"Wizard, help me! You promised me ALL!!! In return for my: Sword Aaaaarm."

A man with a sword that glows.
"Voltan! You will Die!, by my sword"

A one armed man with an automatic crossbow.
"Damn the day I left Holland!" Oh wait, that was Shogun

The last giant in the world with a maul and a penchant for little women.
"Pay up, Rat nose!"

The last Golem, I mean Elf in the world, with a (practically) repeating bow and a bad hairdo.
"I...........................................am.... ......ready."

The last Dwarf with a whip and a penchant for fish swallowing.
"A crack on the skull from a salty wench... ...I wake up to find myself at the mercy of these chanting fools."

The Worst movie in the world? Not by a long shot. Try Gigli, Q (although that has it's charm), Little Women, or Wyatt Earp. Look elsewhere, my friend.

:)

[Bluce_Ree]

Q (although that has it's charm)

As in Q: The Winged Serpent?

That film is aces and doesn't belong in this thread.

[Zlaticko]

To be honest, I don't remember a thing about it. So I will stand by your judgment.

:thumbsup:

[Prolescum]

I repeat,
HAWK THE SLAYER
Is, with no excuses, the worst film in the canon of crap films.

How mighty and stout, a heart such as this...

'I shall not rip off every other sub-fantasy, but I will go through a series of trials and in the end, defeat my nemesis. Who's with me?'
http://www.edugeek.net/forums/attachments/jokes-interweb-things/1934d1211581602-john-terry-hawk-himself.jpg
'You have my bow,,,'
http://content7.flixster.com/question/40/95/34/4095345_tmb.jpg
And my axe. Er, sledgehammer...'
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/f/f4/250px-Gortthegiant.JPG

I can't believe I've mentioned it again; the universe is gonna be really pissed off that I've brought it such attention...

[Zlaticko]

I believe that, there are those that believe that that is that and nothing will sway them from that.

Having said that, I will counter that Conan the Destroyer, Wizards, Roman Polanski's Pirates, the Pirate Movie, Cannonball Run II, Smokey and the Bandit III, Star Wars I (not 'A New Hope'), Look Who's Talking Now, Three Men and a Little Lady, Damnation Alley, and a few others are at least equally as bad as Hawk the Slayer. Not to mention all the 'Meet the Spartan' crap that came out recently.

[Aphrodite]

Gigli.

[Bluce_Ree]

Gigli.

AphrLOLdite more like. I pity the fool that even bothered to watch Gigli.

[Prolescum]

I believe that, there are those that believe that that is that and nothing will sway them from that.

Having said that, I will counter that Conan the Destroyer, Wizards, Roman Polanski's Pirates, the Pirate Movie, Cannonball Run II, Smokey and the Bandit III, Star Wars I (not 'A New Hope'), Look Who's Talking Now, Three Men and a Little Lady, Damnation Alley, and a few others are at least equally as bad as Hawk the Slayer. Not to mention all the 'Meet the Spartan' crap that came out recently.

Well let me retort, Krull; Dungeons & Dragons, Kids, Buffallo 66, Next Friday, The Little Mermaid, Nightwatch, Footloose, Top Gun (actually, anything Don Simpson touched), Armaggedon, The Sixth Sense, X-Men 3, Superman Returns, V for Vendetta, (for turning an Anarchist into a freedom fighter), Jersey Girl, Twin Peaks: Fire walk with me, Ringu, Ricky-O, Babylon 5: The Lost tales, Star Trek Nemesis, (except the ships), Nightmare on Elm Street I - MCXVIII, Solaris, Mean Girls (yes I've seen it for my sins), Ghoulies, Highlander 2, Night at the museum, mac and me.
Off the top of my head. Let's leave the subjective to the individual and get together around Kara's bonfire for some jambalaya on the bayou.:thumbsup:

[Zlaticko]

Highland II. Dear Gods, what is that thing? I think we have a winner.

[Aphrodite]

AphrLOLdite more like. I pity the fool that even bothered to watch Gigli.
Luckily, it was rented. I turned the fracking thing off after 10 minutes into that piece of crap.

[Stairway]

What's so bad about Gigli?

Worst movies I've seen; Sin City and Scary movie 2

[Neakal]

War of the Worlds. The one with Tom Cruise. I didn't like that the unstopable aliens were defeated by a Deus Ex Machina although I hear that was also how it they were defeated in the book as well so I guess thats ok. However, I also found the "goodie" ending ridiculous. The guy goes through hell, the son decides to head to a battlefield which is than engulfed by a firestorm, goes to Boston even though last we heard the aliens were plowing through the cities and guess what: The wifes there, granny and grandpa is there, hell even the son is there somehow. And the only sign of the alien invasion around the house? An abandoned car! Seriously. That is the only movie I kept staring at the screen with utmost lack of comprehension after the credits started to roll. And I wasn't the only one.

Since people have been mentioning Starship Troopers, I'm gonna say I actually enjoyed the movie. Its not a smart movie. Or accurate (both to real world science or the book). Or with a good plotline. Hell the movie wasn't even called Starship Troopers till someone in the team noticed the slight similarity of the plot to Heinlein's book. That being said, I like the slightly parodic humor and the scifi setting is a sort I like. Not sure what I mean by that but I enjoyed the setting of the movie which was expanded by others in computer games and the cartoon (I may be wrong about the cartoon since I didn't fully watch it). Overall, I found it a fun though cheesy movie. Its not one you want your brain on while watching.

[Bluce_Ree]

What's so bad about Gigli?

Worst movies I've seen; Sin City

wow... it's like you are cursed to utter only untruths.

[genji2000]

AphrLOLdite more like. I pity the fool that even bothered to watch Gigli.
Luckily, it was rented. I turned the fracking thing off after 10 minutes into that piece of crap.

Gigli is pretty unsuccessful in its attempt to create Chasing Amy in a mainstream, hip gangster kind of way, but it a) is not as bad as its critics make out and b) can't be judged by someone who turned it off after ten minutes. AphrLOLdite is right, as a film critic. BLOLce_Ree too. Watch it, then tell us how shit is was. I mean, it's not like it was in black and white.

[Zlaticko]

Absolutely it can be judged by someone who turns it off after 10 minutes; and that decision was final.

I don't have to watch the sun set completely to know it is going to be dark soon.

I don't have to eat an entire burger made out of onions to know I'm gonna puke 3 bites into it (the first is oh crap, onions, the second is oooh I think I don't think I can get through this and the third is hey, what a pretty color).

I don't have to watch an entire movie to know I'm not gonna like it. I hated Wyatt Earp; I walked out of it (and I sat through ALL of Bad Girls). I think it's crap. Are you saying that until it's over I can't form an opinion, or express it here?

Sorry for the rant.

[genji2000]

Absolutely it can be judged by someone who turns it off after 10 minutes; and that decision was final.

I don't have to watch the sun set completely to know it is going to be dark soon.

I don't have to eat an entire burger made out of onions to know I'm gonna puke 3 bites into it (the first is oh crap, onions, the second is oooh I think I don't think I can get through this and the third is hey, what a pretty color).

I don't have to watch an entire movie to know I'm not gonna like it. I hated Wyatt Earp; I walked out of it (and I sat through ALL of Bad Girls). I think it's crap. Are you saying that until it's over I can't form an opinion, or express it here?

Yeah.

[The Dirt]

I was going to keep out of this conversation, but when you brought in onions, the gloves came off! If you are going to make a point, please pick an obviously shitty bulb vegetable like the shallot.

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/content/knowhow/glossary/shallot/image.jpg

Webster's Dictionary:
shal·lot
Pronunciation: \shə-ˈlät also ˈsha-lət\
Function:noun
A sorry excuse for an onion. Should only be thrown out.

[genji2000]

Shallots are great. They make you feel like you're doing proper cookery.

[Zlaticko]

My mailbox is blue.

:D

Yeah.

Then this forum is kinda superfluous, neh? I mean the story's not over yet. Caprica has not even started, and only by default are the originals over, I guess.

:D

But as to onions, shallots, leeks, green onions, chives, just about all of them are disagreeable to my stomach. I guess I'm not an Ogre.

[genji2000]

Then this forum is kinda superfluous, neh? I mean the story's not over yet. Caprica has not even started, and only by default are the originals over, I guess.

:D

But as to onions, shallots, leeks, green onions, chives, just about all of them are disagreeable to my stomach. I guess I'm not an Ogre.

You pays your money and takes your choice.

I, for one, will be sad to see you go; you realised that my abrupt "yeah" was defiant to your well-reasoned position ne. At the end of the day, though, why are we here?

[Zlaticko]

Precisely.

[genji2000]

The scifi.com forum has some very interesting discussions if you can be bothered wading through the 'shipper threads.

[timbo]

c´mon guys, this is the time to be solid. We are being tested. Are we gonna crumble because of a few cheap shots from Joe? No, I didn´t think so.

[genji2000]

Tomorrow never knows.

[Zlaticko]

I must be going out of my mind.

I don't post for a few weeks, I come back and start arguing and double posting.

I thought you meant 'yeah,' I couldn't have an opinion, 'cause I ended with a question....

'Precisely' was about the 'why post...' bit. Man, I think I need a nap-ee, 'cause this went all weird.

Skiffy lost me a long time ago, I am very reluctant to even go there casually; although I confess an indiscretion now and then.

So.

Perhaps it should be a competition.

Biggest Loser - the Movies!

In our competition tonight, we have to veteran movies, long belabored as Harbingers of Doom:

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus_Conquers_the_Martians) (1964)This holiday staple was the creation of Nicholas Webster (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_Webster). When Martian (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martian) children get to see Santa Claus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus) only on TV, their parents decide to abduct Santa to make them happy. Like many others in this category, it has been featured in Mystery Science Theater 3000[8] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_that_have_been_considered_among_the _worst_ever#cite_note-7) and is also included in the IMDb's worst 100. Also cited on a 10-worst list in The Book of Lists (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Book_of_Lists), in The Fifty Worst Films of All Time (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fifty_Worst_Films_of_All_Time), and in the 2004 DVD documentary The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made.

VERSUS

Battlefield Earth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlefield_Earth_%28film%29) (2000)Based on the first half of L. Ron Hubbard (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L._Ron_Hubbard)'s thousand-page novel of the same name, starring John Travolta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Travolta), Forest Whitaker (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forest_Whitaker) and Barry Pepper (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Pepper), this film had the third worst 3,000-plus-theater opening weekend up to that time. It was criticized for its poor script, hammy acting by Travolta, overuse of tilted camera angles, laughable dialogue and several plot inconsistencies. More than one reviewer called the film "Travolting".[25] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_that_have_been_considered_among_the _worst_ever#cite_note-24)[26] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_that_have_been_considered_among_the _worst_ever#cite_note-25) Rob Vaux called the film a "crime against celluloid".[27] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_that_have_been_considered_among_the _worst_ever#cite_note-26) Several describe the pain experienced while watching it.[28] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_that_have_been_considered_among_the _worst_ever#cite_note-27) It has a three percent Rotten Tomatoes rating (listing 3 positive reviews out of 96).[29] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_that_have_been_considered_among_the _worst_ever#cite_note-28) The film won seven Golden Raspberry Awards (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Raspberry_Awards), including Worst Picture and Worst Screen Couple (John Travolta and "anyone on the screen with him").[30] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_that_have_been_considered_among_the _worst_ever#cite_note-29) In 2005, an eighth Razzie (for Worst "Drama" of Our First 25 Years) was awarded to the film.[31] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_movies_that_have_been_considered_among_the _worst_ever#cite_note-30) Maxim magazine printed, "Even Quentin Tarantino (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quentin_Tarantino) couldn't revive Travolta's career after this movie."3...

2...

1...

Fight!

[genji2000]

You lose. Anything based on Scientology is win. Obviously.

[Zlaticko]

Which brings us to Valkyrie. Or as I like to call it: Battlefield Earth Dubbya Dubbya two.

[cylon_democrat]

Gigli is pretty unsuccessful in its attempt to create Chasing Amy in a mainstream, hip gangster kind of way, but it a) is not as bad as its critics make out and b) can't be judged by someone who turned it off after ten minutes. AphrLOLdite is right, as a film critic. BLOLce_Ree too. Watch it, then tell us how shit is was. I mean, it's not like it was in black and white.

And all this time I thought you all were talking about Gigi.:D

I have a black hole in my heart for B, C, D films - the more inane, the more precious the little raw cameo (oh, I can't believe it, George Clooney appeared in Return of the Killer Tomatoes 2?) It's the pretentious ones that tries so hard to be an A that I can't stand:

Rosencrantz and Guilderstern are Dead, for starters.

[genji2000]

Which brings us to Valkyrie. Or as I like to call it: Battlefield Earth Dubbya Dubbya two.

All I know is it's about the Nazis and Xenu plays a Nazi general or something. It's not out yet, is it? So I suppose discussion about it's impending arrival should be conducted in the film thread (http://www.battlestarforum.com/showthread.php?t=1794). See you there.

On the other hand, if anyone has already seen it then discussion might as well continue here since it's bound to be considered gash.

[Aphrodite]

Gigli is pretty unsuccessful in its attempt to create Chasing Amy in a mainstream, hip gangster kind of way, but it a) is not as bad as its critics make out and b) can't be judged by someone who turned it off after ten minutes. AphrLOLdite is right, as a film critic. BLOLce_Ree too. Watch it, then tell us how shit is was. I mean, it's not like it was in black and white.

The movie sucked because it had Jennifer "my ass is so big" Lopez in it. Now, don't get me wrong, but she's an okay actress when in the right movie, like that one with George Clooney and Ving Rhames. But when she became the latin Madonna, her acting skills went down the toilet. Oh, and she was good in Selena, too.

The scifi.com forum has some very interesting discussions if you can be bothered wading through the 'shipper threads.

Ugh!! I hate those shipper threads! Way too many of them!!

[genji2000]

Ugh!! I hate those shipper threads! Way too many of them!!

Way too many of them, and - how big are they? Thousands of pages long. It makes visiting the forum frustrating because there are only a couple of non-shipper threads visible. Feels like the shippers are on a mission to drown out any discussion about the show.

I don't know why the admins don't create a couple of sub-forums, one for the shipper threads and one for everything else.

[Zlaticko]

Since were here, I hate that they have 72 stickied threads, and 3 shipper threads at the bottom. You have to get to page 3 or 4 to find anything not shippers, haters, appreciation, or RDM's Wife.

So - If Scientology wins, does that mean that Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus_Conquers_the_Martians) or Battlefield Earth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlefield_Earth_%28film%29) is the worst movie ever?

[genji2000]

I don't know. I haven't seen either so I'm hardly in a position to pass comment am I? I have seen a photo of John Travolta's make-up. Does that qualify me to rate the movie?

[Mayhem1703]

Dear God... THE worst movie hasn't been shown yet. Some moron has decided to do a serious remake of Plan 9 From Outer Space....

[thevarrior]

Three:

1. Dune (1984) by David Lynch. It took a literary classic and proceeded to sexually molest it. ONE OF THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTERS WAS STING. WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT?

2. Battlefield Earth.... yes. Terrible.

3. Anything made by Uwe Boll.

[genji2000]

Three:

1. Dune (1984) by David Lynch. It took a literary classic and proceeded to sexually molest it. ONE OF THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTERS WAS STING. WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT?

100%. I tried to read Dune after seeing this movie. Sting fucked up the book for me like he fucks up every movie/TV show he touches.

[laisan]

Ha? Sting's in movies too? i didn't know..

[genji2000]

Ha? Sting's in movies too? i didn't know..

What, like you haven't seen Lock, Stock...?

[Prolescum]

Sting should never have been let out in the first place. Bloody animal rights activists.

[aylinn]

10,000 BC. What a crap. I'd rather watch "Independence Day" (although it was made by the same lame director) than this.