Cylon talks

[aylinn]

…And they have a plan.

Number 6: We have?
Number 5: Yeah…
Number 6: But what plan?
Number 5: You know. The plan.
Number 6: You mean kill everyone, destroy the survivors, find Earth, kill everyone there and live happily ever after?
Number 5: Wait. I’m lost. That was the plan?
Number 6: I don’t know. I was created to have sex with people.
Number 5: I’ve got nose bleed.
Number 8: What the frak is going on? Why are you bleeding 5?
Number 5: Because 6 said she has sex with people and I guess I have a huge imagination.
Number 8: Idiot. So, what’s the plan?
Number 6: Kill everyone, destroy the survivors, find Earth, kill everyone there and live happily ever after.
Number 8: That’s not our plan!
Number 5: No? So what’s the plan?
Number 8: Well… I mean… the plan is… it’s about… I’m lost. Where’s Number 3 when we need her?
Number 3: Here I am. What happened?
Number 8: The plan. What is the plan?
Number 3: What plan?
Number 5: You know. The plan.
Number 3: The plan… the plan…. Ahhh, you mean the plan to kill everyone, destroy the survivors, find Earth, kill everyone there and live happily ever after?
Number 8: No, THE PLAN!
Number 3: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Number 8: Frak. The plan we’ve been talking about from the very beginning before we even decided to destroy 12 colonies. You know.
Number 3: No, I don’t.
Number 5: I'm going. I need to stop my nose bleed.
Number 6: Yeah, I’m going too, I need to find somebody because I’m horny.
Number 5: Oh, my God… more bleeding.
Number 8: Ah, frak it. I’m going too. I need to meditate naked on the corridor so everyone can see me.
Number 5: Have mercy…
Number 3: I’m also gonna go and find out what plan are you talking about.

…And they have a plan?


Thanks Orion for the inspiration :) More to come.

[aylinn]

...And they have a plan 2

Number 6: Charge!
Number 6: C'mon girls! We'll beat the crap out of those humans!
Number 6: Wait! My heel got stuck in the moss! I can't move!

BLAM!

Number 6: One is down! I repeat, one 6 is down!
Number 6: Don't give up. We surprised them!
Number 6: How? Running in the forrest with white coats, blond hair and on high heels?

BLAM!

Number 6: Another on is down!

BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!
BLAM!

Number 6: Oh, no I'm the only left! I knew that dressing white wasn't a good plan!

BLAM!

...And the have a plan?

[aylinn]

...And they have a plan 3

Number 3: I have a plan!
Number 8: Yeah?
Number 3: Yes! And it's brilliant.
Number 8: So, what is it?
Number 3: We jump, we shoot as many colonial ships as we can. When they jump, we hunt them down and when we find them we attack again.
Number 8: Ummm... I don't know if you heard, but this is what we do from the moment we destroyed Caprica.
Number 3: ... I hate you

...And they have a plan?

[Lt.Heracles]

hahah this is great!!! please continue, i'm dying here from laughing:

Number 8: Ummm... I don't know if you heard, but this is what we do from the moment we destroyed Caprica.
Number 3: ... I hate you:lol:

[aylinn]

...And they have a plan 4

Number 6: Number 5! Wait!
Number 5: Get away from me. I don't want to die and resurrect again from the loss of too much blood!
Number 6: No, wait. I know what the plan was.
Number 5: You do?
Number 6: Nah, I just wanted to show you my tits and make you nose bleed.
Number 5: Oh, my god! Have mercy! ... dies
Number 6: See you in a couple of hours, Doral

...And they have a plan?

[frakk`up]

lol

[Growly Bear]

...And they have a plan 4

*Number 3 voice echoing through the base ship*
Number 3 : OH God! Oh my, so wonderful, God!
*sound of high heels clicking quickly*
Number 6 : 3 what is it, a vision?
*a muffled voice can be heard*
*Number 3 hides something quickly*
Number 3 : Ah, 6 uh no not a vision actually but more like a feeling....a wonderful feeling. Let me show you.
Number 6 : You found a way tha does not need you to keep killing yourself?
*sly look from 3*
Number 3 : Not really, no.
*quickly revealing what she had hidden*
Number 3 : This! I found one in the back of the dressingroom. The voice unit still works.
Number 6 : A Series 0005 head? It speaks to you about God?
Number 3: No! You sit on it and the vibrations.....
*Number 6 sighs loudly and walk away....*
Number 3 : Oh well....
*as we leave we hear a synthesized voice repeating*
"By your command By your command By your command By your command By your command By your command"

...And they have a plan?

[aylinn]

…And they have a plan 5

Number 3: I have a plan!
Number 5: What is it?
Number 3: We send number 6 to the Galactica. She goes straight to the Admiral, shows him his tits. He dies of a nose bleed. And when they are still in shock, we attack and finish them off.
Number 5: This is the most stupid plan I’ve ever heard of.
Number 6: Yeah, I’m not gonna show my tits to anyone.
Number 5: And I upgraded my system and now I am unbreakable, Six.
Number 6: Really? Let’s see.
Number 5: Oh my God, system overheat, system overheat. I gotta go and cool down
Number 6: What a pussy.
Number 5: (from the corridor) For God’s sake! Sharon, go meditate naked somewhere else!
Number 6: So as I was saying, this plan sucks. And besides, one 6 tried and it didn’t work out.
Number 3: Oh yeah, I remember. Well… frak… I’ll think of something else.

…And they have a plan?

[Orion]

These are just great. Thanks Aylinn, I love those plans!

[NEXUX]

aylinn you made me a big surprise ...
I think I am gonna BOX you.

[Growly Bear]

…And they have a plan 6

Simon : 6 Lets play Doctor and Nurses.
Number 3 : Can I play too?
Simon : Sure you can be a nurse.
Number 3 : Did you just call me an anus?
Simon : No, I said A Nurse not Anus.
Cavil : *mumbling* You called it Simon, she can be rather anal.
Number 3 : Yes I am hard as a nail! Ai yai yai eeeee!
Number 6 : No wonder they say Blondes r'dumb.
Leoben Conoy : 6 according to the scriptures Adam was male and nowhere did they say he was blonde.
Simon : *looking at Cavil & Leoben Conoy* Excuse but I did not invite you two.
Number 3 : Youtube? Now how kinky I do have my video camera.
Simon : I think I'll go find a couple of 8s instead.

…And they have a plan?

[Orion]

…And they have a plan 7

[Earth. The year is 1980. Colonial pilots buzzing through the air on bikes etc. etc.]

All Significant Seven, simultaneously: This was the plan?? Frak us!

…And they have a plan?

[Maj. Apollo]

:lol::lol: these are hilarious!!!! keep going!!!!

[Orion]

…And they have a plan 8


No. 6: Oh.... OHHHH.... OOOOAAAAHHHH!
Aron Doral: What's it? Practicing for Baltar?
No. 6: NO! An IDEA! It's... IN MY MIND! It's... it's a ... PLAN! I got it!!!
Aron Doral: WHAT? That's it for you. You're boxed.
No. 6: Frakk.

…And they have a plan?

[aylinn]

...And they have a plan 6

Number ? aka Simon: What are you doing Three?
Number 3: I know that somwhere in those papers is the plan.
Number ? aka Simon: The plan?
Number 3: Yap.
Number ? aka Simon: What plan?
Number 3: The plan. You know.
Number ? aka Simon: No.
Number 3: The plan, Simon.
Number ? aka Simon: You mean the plan to kill everyone, destroy the survivors, find Earth, kill everyone there and live happily ever after?
Number 3: No, I mean... frak... what is all this?
Number ? aka Simon: I don't know
Number 3: Looks like a prophecy.
Number ? aka Simon: Prophecy?
Number 3: Yeah, look.
Number ? aka Simon: Wow. I didn't know Number 6 has such a sexy red dress.
Number 3: And listen. It says here "Number 6 will be the one that being a blonde will be intelligent. And from all Cylons she will be the bringer of a human man onto a basestar". What is the meaning of all this?
Number ? aka Simon: Maybe it means that she is hot and smart and she brought Baltar to our basestar.
Number 3: This is the meaning of the prophecy? Wait, it also says here "This is the ultimate Cylon plan".
Number ? aka Simon: ...No comment.
Number 3: ... Box me...

...And they have a plan?

[Growly Bear]

Help Desk 3 : Helloooo, Cyclon Service and Repair.
Cavil : Yeh, hi, I would like to sen...
Help Desk 3 : For vocal communication press 1, for non-vocal communication press 2
Cavil : whaa...*presses the 1 key*
Help Desk 3 : You have chosen option 1, prease enter your 16 digit indentification number followed by the hash key
Cavil : *presses keys*
Help Desk 3 : You have entered an invalid 16 digit identification number, please enter your 16 digit indentification number followed by the hash key.
Cavil : AAARgh! *presses keys*
Help Desk 3 : For application of a new problem press 1, for existing application press 2, for other services press 3.
Cavil : *pokes the 3 key savagely a few times*
Help Desk 3 : 333333 is not a valid option. For application of a new problem press 1, for....
Cavil : Frakit! *pokes the 3 key hard once*
Help Desk 3 : Good day Cavil how may we help you?
Cavil : Yeh, hi, I would like to send a Model 3 in for servicing.
Help Desk 3 : Please wait I'm transferring you to the right department.
*classical music is heard for several minutes*
CRAP 3 : Hello this is Cylon Repair And Parts, how may we help you?
Cavil : Yes I have a model 3 that is malfuntioning.
CRAP 3 : I see. Have you tried turning her on and off first?
Cavil : Yes....box she is in the box as...
CRAP 3 : Sir it helps that the unit is out of the box when in use.
Cavil : That's it, she did not work after some time.
CRAP 3 : Sir from your connection we can see that your basestar is outside the warranty sector of space. So the Unit is not covered.
Cavil : Huh? I want to speak to someone in charge! *shouting into phone*
*a brief pause*
ASS 3 : Administrative Services Section, how may I help you?
Cavil : Godsfrakit! It's like talking to the same idiot all the time!
ASS 3 : Sir mind your language, are you the Cavil who boxed this 3 Unit?
Cavil : Yes and tha's because she....
ASS 3 : So... you're the motherfracker! *now voice is away from the phone* You hear that girls, this is the one who boxed us!
Cavil : oh boy! *quickly hangs up* This is one time I wish I could LEAP out of this body and into someone else.

[Maj. Apollo]

my god, that has to be the best one yet!!! im in stitches:lol::lol::lol:!!!!!

[Growly Bear]

*walking along corridoor*
Baltar : I can't believe that with all the technological advances you have made, ergonomics was not part of the equation. The living and breathing element of the situation was not removed; infact by all accounts it has been increased ahundred fold!
Where in what ever God's name that you believe in, did they put the fracking toilet!!

*Head 6 in yet another slinky nothing there leave nothing to the imagination dress*
The Cylon physionomical structure works the same way as humans, we go when we have to go.

*more corridoor...which looks exactly like the last*
Baltar : That's all well and good for you considering that you are merely a figment of my imagination and have no need for the basic necesities like eating and drinking! Which you; I shall point out, thus proving my point that you do not really exist, have yet to supply me with the location of the bloody toilet!

*Staring at the corridoor wall where Head 6 apparently is, but looking like a raving lunatic to the passing Number 8s*
Baltar : Where are the signs? You know little boards with cute pictures proclaiming you are here and the nearest toilet is there!

*Head 6 in a sexy nurses uniform*
When you can project there is no need for such human devices.

Baltar : Ah! yet again my point, I am obviously not a Cylon, I was not programmed with the intimate knowledge of a fracking basestar.

Baltar : *stops a Number 5 Aaron Doral* Excuse me where is the toilet?

Number 5 : *just stares at Baltar* Over that way. *pointing back where Baltar has just come*

Baltar : Oh that is wondeful, simply wonderful. *looking back at the Number 5 walking away* Could you have been a little more descriptive!

*now practically running*
Baltar : Where is it!?

*Head 6 now dressed like Jeannie from that beloved series I dream of Jeannie*
You asked and now you shall receive.

*A Number 5 walks out of a doorway with a newspaper under his arm adjusting his fly*
*Baltar rushes in, a door slams, we hear 5 pints of piping hot mud being released*

And as we stand infront of yet another non-descript door in yet another corridoor in the labrinth of a basestar we hear the mournful wail...

Baltar : WHERE IS THE TOILET PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[aylinn]

A soft woman's voice

We inform all the Cylons to clean their bodies that died. Centurions are too bussy with planting the trees. Please do it for the good of all Cylon community. Your dead bodies will be utilized and ashes will be thrown into the sea.
Remember. If you die because of a bomb, look for remaining parts of your body after a download. If you died strangled, burned, poisoned or in some other way please take your body to the utilization center. If you do not do this in 7 days from your download you will be boxed.
Thank you and have a nice day.


Number 3: Frak... where's my leg?

[NEXUX]

A soft woman's voice

We inform all the Cylons to clean their bodies that died. Centurions are too bussy with planting the trees. Please do it for the good of all Cylon community. Your dead bodies will be utilized and ashes will be thrown into the sea.
Remember. If you die because of a bomb, look for remaining parts of your body after a download. If you died strangled, burned, poisoned or in some other way please take your body to the utilization center. If you do not do this in 7 days from your download you will be boxed.
Thank you and have a nice day.


Number 3: Frak... where's my leg?


Haha , that is super ...

[aylinn]

...And they have a plan 8

Saul Tigh: Gods dammit, I'm a frakking Cylon.
Sam Anders: I know how you feel. I still can't beleieved it myself.
Saul Tigh: I don't give a frak if I'm a Cylon. I'm actually thankful for that.
Sam Anders: Why?
Saul Tigh: 'Cause now I can frak Number 6 in the brig.
Sam Anders: You wanna frak her?
Saul Tigh: Frak yeah.
Sam Anders: Can I join?
Saul Tigh: Sure. We will pretend that frakking her is a part of interrogation.
Sam Anders: Good plan.
Saul Tigh: I'm a Cylon, it must be good. Let's go.

...And they have a plan?

[ShadowEnigma]

Haha!

[Sharon.Valerii]

NIIIICE !!...But maybe the Plan is simply 42 !!

Got that feeling, maybe after revealed, all Cylons will ge depressive

[Sharon.Valerii]

NIIIICE !!...But maybe the Plan is simply 42 !!

Got that feeling, maybe after revealed, all Cylons will ge depressive


And Marvin is the Final Cylon after all :D:D

[aylinn]

Yup, Cylon Talks returned too :D


And they have a plan 9

Number 8: Ah, it’s so peaceful.
Number 2: Thankfully we got rid of Number 1 “Look at me, I almost won an Oscar award” Cavil and Number 5 “I look like Kevin Spacey” Doral. Hated those guys.
Number 8: True.
Number 6 aka Natalie: Well, when we unbox Number 3 “Xena: Warrior Princess” D’Anna the peace will end.
Number 2: Do we have to unbox her?
Number 6 aka Natalie: She’s the only one who knows the Final Five. But you know what guys?
Number 8: What?
Number 6 aka Natalie: I kinda miss Doral. I loved his nosebleeds.
Number 2: As if there was a reason for a nosebleed.
Number 6 aka Natalie: What did you say? Are you saying my tits are not hot?
Number 8: Oh, you’re so busted Leoben.
Number 2: It’s not what I meant. I meant…
Number 6 aka Natalie: Do us a favor and throw yourself out of the airlock, please.
Number 8: LOL.
Number 2: What? (we can hear a “woosh” sound and Leoben is out of the airlock)
Number 8: So yeah… what do we do now?
Number 6 aka Natalie: I don’t know. Scrabble?
Number 8: OK. I feel like winning today.
Number 6 aka Natalie: Dream on, Eight. Dream on.

And they have a plan?