The Heist

[timbo]

Okay, listen up dudes. The time for theories is over, it is time to act.

I have been looking at the two significant photos on the forum - Joe in Adama´s office, and the last supper. The answer to the puzzle lies in one or both places, which we know from Joe´s blog are being dismantled, which means ... yes, reduced security. I have been up all night thinking it through and this is how it is gonna go down.
Me, Wouter, Genji, Zod, Prolescum, Dirt, Bluce, Bazzy, Pnutty, Thirteenth, Smelly and the new guy Atomic meet in the far end of the parking lot at midnight. Latex and faceblack please gentlemen, weapons optional.
Everyone will have their role. Do not deviate from the plan.
Okay, at five past midnight, we are gonna start a mock fight between Bluce and Pnutty with his legs strapped up to look like midget, everyone knows Bluce has a thing for midgets. Keep the fight going for at least fifteen minutes and make as much noise as possible - this is the diversion that will allow me, Genji, Prol, Thirteenth, Dirt and Atomic to get into the building.
Zod, you are both getaway driver and diversion assistant. You need to get hold of an old ice-cream van, cover it in carbon panels and turn it into a stealth ice-cream van. When Bluce is fighting Pnutty, you set all the bells and music going. You can sell ice-creams as well if you want, that is up to you.
Once inside, we need security - this will come from Genji, the hard man. No one enters or exits the building for fifteen minutes. Genji, use whatever force you think necessary.
Once inside, as it was Atomic who found the picture, Smelly, Dirt and him will take the last supper room. Smelly thinks the answers are in the book on the table, so he can check that out. Atomic, you check the holy-grail.
Dirt, I like your "gap in the picture represents a hole in humanity´s soul" angle. You will stand in the middle of room with your eyes closed and try to absorb the vibe, tune in to the ju-ju.
Okay, then me and Prolescum will go through Adama´s desk, the most likely hiding place. Once we know who the final cylon is, we hightail it the hell outta there.
Zod, when you see the first man exit the building, you put the van in gear and call Pnutty and Bluce to get in the front with you. The rest of us jump, one by one through the window bit where the ice-cream man stands. No time for doors.
We all meet up with Wouter and Bazzy in the lot and make our escape.
Wouter, "The Thinker", you will organise the auction to sell our information not to the highest bidder, but back to Ron Moore. And this is the beautiful bit. The guys who created the show don´t seem to know what the fuck is going on, so we change the ending to one we all like before we give it back to them. They will never know. Brilliant.
Bazzy, admin. Organised and punctual, a safe pair of hands, you will take care of the dividing up the money, and photocopying.
Atomic, you are the cocky new guy, so you are probably gonna get killed or left behind. Don´t talk. We will come and get you when the heat is off.
Finally, we have Joe´s part in the plan. The whole world has seen him in Adama´s office, with his shifty facial hair and furtive body language - probably going through the drawers, leaving his prints everywhere. The perfect Patsy.
Okay, gentlemen, destiny awaits you.
Synchronize watches.

An afterthought: Bearing in mind we are sci fi forum geeks, Pnutty - bring brown paper bags in case anyone has a panic attack.

Also, I meant to say - feel free to flesh out the plan with any ideas you think may work.

[genji2000]

Could work. Sounds ok. As long as I'm not Mr Brown or Mr Pink.

[Pnutmaster]

Aww, I want to play cops and robbers too, but with my luck, I'd probably be Mr.Orange.

I'll sell peanuts a few blocks away, get arrested for presumably selling drugs, buy you some time.

[genji2000]

I want to be Mr Orange. What's up with Orange? It's like napalm.

OK. Don't eat the 'peanuts'. We need you compos mentis. You need to keep dixie, too, and let us know when the bizzies show up.

[Prolescum]

Brilliant, I just bought some black running shoes.

[timbo]

Aww, I want to play cops and robbers too, but with my luck, I'd probably be Mr.Orange.

I'll sell peanuts a few blocks away, get arrested for presumably selling drugs, buy you some time.

Pnutty - sorry dude, missed you first time through, but its ok, you´re in. You can take Wee-man´s place in the fight. I never did like the idea of bringing in outside muscle. But you have to strap up your legs, and walk on your knees to bring out Bluce´s midget rage.

[genji2000]

Pnutty - sorry dude, missed you first time through, but its ok, you´re in. You can take Wee-man´s place in the fight. I never did like the idea of bringing in outside muscle. But you have to strap up your legs, and walk on your knees to bring out Bluce´s midget rage.

I'm not sure that'd work. He can sense midgets (who can't?), but through half-glass doors and even walls. He wouldn't get the fear and I'm worried it wouldn't be noisy enough.

And since she's viewing this thread right now, we should recruit Westie for tactical planning and munitions management. Stairway might be useful too for dream interpretation (or mentioning) and language translation services.

[timbo]

I'm not sure that'd work. He can sense midgets (who can't?), but through half-glass doors and even walls. He wouldn't get the fear and I'm worried it wouldn't be noisy enough.

And since she's viewing this thread right now, we should recruit Westie for tactical planning and munitions management. Stairway might be useful too for dream interpretation (or mentioning) and language translation services.

Okay, they are both in. Equal cuts.

[The Dirt]

This is the smartest and most daring ANYTHING that I have ever heard of. Timbo, you are definitely the brains of the operation. Standing in the middle of the room and absorbing the vibe and whatever the hell else you said sounds like a plan.

[timbo]

It is time to step out of the box gentlemen and throw the hard six.

Westie, if you really can get weapons, I want a bow and arrow, .. no wait, a crossbow. Yes a crossbow with nightscopes and a silencer. And facepaint.

[westie]

Hell yes, I am drawing up the blueprints now.

I think a crossbow is already fairly silent but *shrugs* whatever floats your boat (flies your battlestar?) I'm trying to decide between a Hattoro Hanzi and a flamethrower myself... maybe an innovative combination of the two?

[Bruce]

I'm not sure that'd work. He can sense midgets (who can't?), but through half-glass doors and even walls. He wouldn't get the fear and I'm worried it wouldn't be noisy enough.

yeah you'd literally have to throw the Pnutmidget at me. I would, of course, die of horror but I'd do my best to let out a shriek first.

[Chiefchess]

Advice from a hardened criminal. Timbo, great plan, but you need to cover a few additional things.

First, while Zod is definitely capable of being the get-away driver, I would add another member to pilot the chopper in case your team needs to escape via the roof. In case both of these options are closed to you, have another member tunnel underneath the building to get you guys out. With all the sci-fi nerds we have, at least one member of this forum is a demolition expert.

Second, the area will be crawling with cylons. I would bite the bullet and (gasp) recruit Baltar. If you run into centurions, Baltar can talk them to death (see the Hub). If they are female skin jobs, he can frak them. You don't need him for the male skin jobs. You guys can just blow them away.

Third, make sure you set aside enough money to bail out the decoys. No doubt the cops will be called and will cart the guys away. I don't mind donating money for this cause.

Finally, while you are getting the information, why not go ahead and kidnap Rob Moore. If you don't like the identity of the final cylon or how the show ends, then you can make Rob Moore change it or risk being airlocked. Also, as you know the information already, you can bet on it on the internet sites or in Vegas and win millions. (a small portion of it going to all of us, of course).:thumbsup:

Good luck on you heist. I'll represent you in court if you get caught.

By saying that I'll represent you, that doesn't mean that I think you will get caught. I doubt you will. But if you do, I just wanted you all to know that me and Romo Lampkin would take your case. Now you know that EVERYTHING, even the unthinkable, is covered.:D

[timbo]

Chiefchess - I like your ideas. You´re in.
You can take care of any legal wrangles we may have and also place the final cylon bets, once we know who it is. Put the bets on in Vegas. Let´s do this thing right.
Tell Westie what weapon you want. I´m getting a really cool crossbow.

[genji2000]

I'm gonna need a couple of these http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:1hw6lic60AEasM:http://www.yourprops.com/norm-4754935861437-Battlestar%2BGalactica%2B(TV)%2B(2003).jpeg,

one of these http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:b7uDokIVjEUjSM:http://dreamlandreplicas.com/images/propkits/2005_BSG_Blaster/S2/gun1.jpg,

one of these http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:WFkR-S9TuAXf9M:http://personalpages.tds.net/~swmiller/storm1.jpg,

and in case it gets rough, a handful of these, please:

http://i315.photobucket.com/albums/ll480/genji2000_photo/nuke.jpg?t=1220778479

Can I have a Tigh-patch as well?

[westie]

Duly noted. I think multiple Tigh-patches are an excellent idea. They will confuse witnesses in an identification line-up, and if we get caught we can blame it all on the chips inside telling us what to do!

[timbo]

Duly noted. I think multiple Tigh-patches are an excellent idea. They will confuse witnesses in an identification line-up, and if we get caught we can blame it all on the chips inside telling us what to do!

Brilliant idea. We do the whole thing with everyone wearing eye patches.

[genji2000]

How many?

[BSGfan-atic]

Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to link this specific post of mine from the "Lemur foam hat" thread, but I think I deserve in on this operation.

In the vein of this conversation, why don't we all get rubber masks in the likeness of:

http://www.battlestarforum.com/images/statusicon/wol_error.gifThis image has been resized. Click this bar to view the full image. The original image is sized 1024x685 and weights 695KB.http://i519.photobucket.com/albums/u354/battlestarprops/Joe%20on%20Set/AdamasQuarters_Joe2.jpg

And then start robbing banks, post-offices, armored car companies, and numerous other high-profile targets! You see, Joe, there are some people whom jealousy just tips over the edge! :lol:

And we can always wear Tigh patches over the rubber face masks, for a further layer of disguise! LOL.

[genji2000]

LOL.

If you're not gonna take it seriously then the guys will be dubious re your dedication.

[BSGfan-atic]

Fear not, I am always serious about anything involving BSG. I would be happy to create a diversion, drive a getaway car, whatever, all while wearing a rubber Joe mask, a Tigh patch, and even a #6 red dress (if that is what the plan calls for). I am a total team player.

[genji2000]

... all while wearing a rubber Joe mask, a Tigh patch, and even a #6 red dress (if that is what the plan calls for). I am a total team player.

Alright then. That might be useful. It's gonna get stressful and we might need some executive relief.

[The Dirt]

Alright then. That might be useful. It's gonna get stressful and we might need some executive relief.

I'll get a hold of the Tricia Helfer look-alike hookers for the after party.

[timbo]

BSG-fanatic, you´re in.

The rubber masks, eye patches and red dresses all go. It´s not exactly how I saw us going in, but once they see my badass crossbow and Westie´s flamethrower, they´r gonna think "damn, cutting edge weaponry and crossdressers. These guys are a whole new breed of super-criminal. Good work BSG-F, it´s growing on me. You get the dresses. I want one just like Tricias, that kinda falls away when I lean forward. Y´know, gives a hint, but not the whole secret.

[genji2000]

I'm not gonna wear a godsdamn dress. Get me that trouser suit she wears in Revelations.

[Chiefchess]

So now we got Tigh eye patches, 6 red dresses, blonde wigs, cross bows, flame throwers, escape plans, heavy artillery, etc. Just about set. :thumbsup:

I'm sending the ultimate weapon to you. I'm going to put some dead cats in a carrier, and you talk to them as if they are alive, and if a guard comes to get a closer look, you open the carrier door and BAM the guard hits the floor after being overpowered by the smell. :lol: I would only use this weapon as a last resort (think of it as a weapon of mass destruction, if you will).

Perhaps we should include gas masks. It would enhance the disguises and make sure none of our group are hit by the cat corpses grenade.

P.S.-Contacted my mob connections in Vegas. Made them a deal they just couldn't refuse. Also arranged to take your case pro bono if you are caught. We're set to go here:thumbsup:

[genji2000]

So now we got Tigh eye patches, 6 red dresses, blonde wigs, cross bows, flame throwers, escape plans, heavy artillery, etc.

Who said anything about blonde wigs? I don't think that's workable at all. Get outta here with your crazy, dubious sexual identity ideas. This is not just an excuse to dress up, you know.

[GoldWolf]

I have access to lots of big airplanes.

You want me to have them drop bombs?

Pleeeeze?

Pretty pretty pleeeeeze?

*loves bombing things*

[BSGfan-atic]

genji2000 wrote:

I'm not gonna wear a godsdamn dress. Get me that trouser suit she wears in Revelations.

No problem. We can intercept Hillary Clinton's dry-cleaning on its way back from the cleaners. Lots of trouser suits (pant-suits as called in the U.S.) with extra room around the hips. That's so they won't tear out when roundhouse-kicking guards and minions of evil. I'll bring plenty of pant-suits and red dresses, so everyone can take their pick.

[Prolescum]

Shouldn't this conversation be behind spoiler tags?
We don't want Jo to find out we've nicked all his rubber masks, (I think he was planning to sneak them into the BSG prop sale...)

[timbo]

I have access to lots of big airplanes.

You want me to have them drop bombs?


GoldWolf - no bombs, but if the other guys agree, we can use one of your big planes to parachute (in our red dresses) in to Vegas for the after heist party.

[GoldWolf]

GoldWolf - no bombs, but if the other guys agree, we can use one of your big planes to parachute (in our red dresses) in to Vegas for the after heist party.

Oh, sure, no sweat! It's easy to jump out of C-130s!

Are you suuuuure you don't want me to blow something up?

Or maybe shoot something? Shooting is fun, too!

[Chiefchess]

"Who said anything about blonde wigs? I don't think that's workable at all. Get outta here with your crazy, dubious sexual identity ideas. This is not just an excuse to dress up, you know."-Genji2000

Genji2000, who said anything about you or any of the guys wearing a dress or a blonde wig? Maybe I misunderstood, but I thought the guys in this heist were going in in colonial uniforms, flight suits, eye patches, etc. Any girls in the group have the option of wearing the blonde wigs and the red dresses if they so desired.

News flash Genji2000. I am a female! And yes, I was born a female, thank you very much. No weird sexual thoughts about guys in red dresses from me! I prefer a man in uniform.

No doubt this is a big scandal similar to when the show started and everyone learned Starbuck was going to be a girl :lol:. Very likely I will be asked to leave the heist, as this poor little girl is going to break a nail, and we just can't have that :lol:. Just kidding. I get threatened on a weekly basis by convicts twice my size. I figure I can handle any security that may or my not show up.

So Genji2000, relax. Breathe in, then breathe out. No one in this forum, male or female, have the slightest intention of seeing you in a red dress or a blonde wig. That's a promise.:thumbsup:

[genji2000]

"Who said anything about blonde wigs? I don't think that's workable at all. Get outta here with your crazy, dubious sexual identity ideas. This is not just an excuse to dress up, you know."-Genji2000

Genji2000, who said anything about you or any of the guys wearing a dress or a blonde wig? Maybe I misunderstood, but I thought the guys in this heist were going in in colonial uniforms, flight suits, eye patches, etc. Any girls in the group have the option of wearing the blonde wigs and the red dresses if they so desired.

News flash Genji2000. I am a female! And yes, I was born a female, thank you very much. No weird sexual thoughts about guys in red dresses from me! I prefer a man in uniform.

No doubt this is a big scandal similar to when the show started and everyone learned Starbuck was going to be a girl :lol:. Very likely I will be asked to leave the heist, as this poor little girl is going to break a nail, and we just can't have that :lol:. Just kidding. I get threatened on a weekly basis by convicts twice my size. I figure I can handle any security that may or my not show up.

So Genji2000, relax. Breathe in, then breathe out. No one in this forum, male or female, have the slightest intention of seeing you in a red dress or a blonde wig. That's a promise.:thumbsup:

Fine but you can't just slip in a blonde wig without it being discussed by committee. And don't mention the forum. This is an undercover op, subversive and highly secretive. You start bringing the forum into it and pretty soon everyone will know about it.

[timbo]

You two - can we leave the sexual tension until the after party. We don´t need you two flirting with each other in the middle of the op. When it´s over, you can play out your prisoner and guard fantasies wearing what you like.

[Prolescum]

Here's the plan.
http://prolescumsbuds.googlegroups.com/web/theheist2.jpg?gda=9DHyFz8AAADoyV5C34JTZFBQjY0QNrg2 Ca0qsnDD9Ktd9tW0O3ItxCsElIwzvEboUYUnU_9gOvCccyFKn-rNKC-d1pM_IdV0&gsc=QlsXnAsAAADOwC6UbQsZnGIn7Vgt-kcV

If we all take these positions, we'll be able to take in all eventualities.
Timbo and I will come in from the south, going around Genji, (in red), so's not to cause any offence,http://prolescumsbuds.googlegroups.com/web/vieheistdu.jpg?gda=N1Atw0AAAADoyV5C34JTZFBQjY0QNrg 2aGd6GV-mvubKVKwYjWeEsqDp05yZbXCJLR2tP0Z0nE1txVPdW1gYotyj7-X7wDON&gsc=QlsXnAsAAADOwC6UbQsZnGIn7Vgt-kcV

Pnutmaster, you go after Bluce and Bluce, you run away like sohttp://prolescumsbuds.googlegroups.com/web/vieheistdu2.jpg?gda=WDMgxUEAAADoyV5C34JTZFBQjY0QNr g2aGd6GV-mvubKVKwYjWeEsqr0S-c-XU9gzGFPTsLQZ39TCT_pCLcFTwcI3Sro5jAzlXFeCn-cdYleF-vtiGpWAA&gsc=QlsXnAsAAADOwC6UbQsZnGIn7Vgt-kcV

and Chiefchess and Dirt, you're on lookout here, and here. Any sign of Mr Beaudoin or 'security', scream your call-signs and leg it, we'll know to send for the plane.
http://prolescumsbuds.googlegroups.com/web/vieheistdu2you.jpg?gda=9O2BKkQAAADoyV5C34JTZFBQjY0 QNrg2aGd6GV-mvubKVKwYjWeEsuFmu6iUpm8ltbDzCKh3-6pV6u9SiETdg0Q2ffAyHU-dzc4BZkLnSFWX59nr5BxGqA&gsc=QlsXnAsAAADOwC6UbQsZnGIn7Vgt-kcV

Now who has the blueprint for inside the building?

[The Dirt]

Nice work on the drawings! Your depiction of me as a a brown phallus is very accurate. How did you know?

[timbo]

Yeah, and how come Dirt´s phallus symbol is bigger than mine.

Okay. Great plan though.

[Prolescum]

Nice work on the drawings! Your depiction of me as a a brown phallus is very accurate. How did you know?
You think I haven't done this kind of planning before? I've got spies on the ground, mate.

Yeah, and how come Dirt´s phallus symbol is bigger than mine.
Okay. Great plan though.

I don't really want to go into the phallic size issue as it may well identify us to the fuzz...

[The Dirt]

I'm just happy I'm second biggest to Prolescum, who undoubtedly would make himself the biggest. Oh and here's the blueprint from inside the building:

http://www.mediafire.com/imgbnc.php/9774648efe4c0ef1b41dcd476c48f9664g.jpg
Thanks to fr33lancer

[Prolescum]

here's the blueprint from inside the building:
[Death-star Plans]
Thanks to fr33lancer

Wicked. I'll get onto making copies on rice paper for everybody to read and eat.

So we're really going through with it? Shall we do video diaries to leave behind in case we don't come back, telling our families how important it was that we completed this mission, no matter the cost and that we love them? Let them know we'll be waiting for them in the place between life and death...

[The Dirt]

Sounds too suicide-bombery. I prefer to leave behind half of a fortune cookie with a cryptic fortune (which we all know are usually random statements of opinion) - something along the lines of, "People are drawn to you because of your fun nature." Also, as an added bonus, on the back end of the fortune you can learn a Mandarin Chinese word - "Yue" which means fish.

[GoldWolf]

Chiefchess, do not fear; you are not the token female. I, too, am female.

I'm not planning on wearing a red dress or a blonde wig, though. I'd really rather wear some of my guns.

And maybe my sword just for good measure.

And my nunchaks for fun.

[Prolescum]

@ The Dirt

Just a quick reminder from another thread on my feelings toward the beasts of the sea...

Sorry, but when I say stink, I don't mean it smells off or funny, I'm not just talking rollmops and herrings, I genuinely mean all seafood smells disgusting to my nostrils; I've yet to come across any that smells tasty. My other half only eats it when she's out of the country because it hurts me so...

[The Dirt]

Now you know how to say you don't want any fish when you go to China or a Chinese restaurant. Actually, you only know how to say fish. So just say "Yue" (remember to go up) and turn your head side to side. Hopefully, that means no in Chinese too.

[BSGfan-atic]

To further confuse the defences, we need somebody outside, riding a liger (bred for their magic skills, you know) around the area. In a red dress is optional. Maybe dismounting occasionally to show off nunchuk skills and to sell plastic storage containers. What could be more distracting than an appearance by a traveling salesman on a liger?

[The Dirt]

Ligers (the real ones) are huge! There's some gene that if you breed a male lion with a female tiger (or the other way around) that makes the offspring gigantic. Seeing as I have no skills, I volunteer.

http://207.36.85.33/booies/Pictures/PictureOfWeek/2005%20March%205/liger.jpg

By the way, what's up with those pants, and where do I get a pair?

[Chiefchess]

First to GoldWolf-Thanks for the tip. I don't have any nunchaks, but maybe the committee will allow me to bring grenades.

Second-Forget making video diaries! Do you think I would get involved in a sceme like this if there was even a slight chance of failure?! We got some of the best minds on this. We can't fail!

In the off chance someone gets caught, all you have to do is keep your mouth shut for 24 hours. I'm already drawing up some contiguency plans by researching all known jails and prisons within a 100 mile radias. Once I learn which jail you are taken to, I need seven volunteers to for Operation New Caprica Exodus. I need two to infultrate as guards (to pretend to be hostages), three to blow up the prison walls and cause a jail break, and two to fly a chopper in to pick us up. I also need someone to work on paperwork for new identification. If one of us is caught, then that person's identity is compromised. Thus, that person needs to be put in a new location with a new identity.

Probably won't hurt for us all to undergo some training for whatever the cops throw at us. Be it interogation, waterboarding, airlocking, etc., it is better to be prepared and know what to expect.

You think I been listening to some of my clients for too long? Oh yeah, but at least you learn to think about these things in advance.

So say we all!

[The Dirt]

Allow me to illustrate my seriousness:

http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh162/dmatrixone/liger.gif

[bazzyb]

How did I not see this thread until now? I'd gladly contribute some ideas but it seems like you guys have it all under control

[Prolescum]

How did I not see this thread until now? I'd gladly contribute some ideas but it seems like you guys have it all under control

Well someone has to make the tea if you're interested.

We're still in the planning stages, (waiting for Timbo to give us the go ahead), so please, chip in and put the kettle on.:D
Here's a clear map of the areahttp://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/TreasureMapFuzzed.jpg although I blurred out the x to hide the location from outsiders.

[timbo]

How did I not see this thread until now? I'd gladly contribute some ideas but it seems like you guys have it all under control

Bazzy, you have been in this thing from the start. Check out the original outline of the plan, and you will see your role. Welcome aboard dude. Although when you discover that there is a chance we might be parachuting in to Vegas from some big-ass plane wearing red dresses and sky riding ligers (the scariest animal I have ever fucking seen), armed to the eyeballs, you might not be so sure.

[timbo]

Well someone has to make the tea if you're interested.

We're still in the planning stages, (waiting for Timbo to give us the go ahead)


Guys, I am gonna be busy for a few days, and anyway, this is a democracy, so feel free to move things on as you see fit.

I am proud to be part of ........... hey we need a name for our gang - post all ideas, and we´ll choose one at the weekend.

[Prolescum]

Guys, I am gonna be busy for a few days, and anyway, this is a democracy, so feel free to move things on as you see fit.

I am proud to be part of ........... hey we need a name for our gang - post all ideas, and we´ll choose one at the weekend.

Okay. We'll have someone watch over you so's you don't get a chip put in yer skull.

[genji2000]

Advice from a hardened criminal.

So, what, are you a prison guard, prosecutor or a convicted criminal? I have an image of you as the guard in Oz.

[laisan]

Okay, then me and Prolescum will go through Adama´s desk, the most likely hiding place.

Would the safe not be the first place to look? Afterall, that was where he hid the "There are 12 cylon models" note.

I'm not gonna wear a godsdamn dress. Get me that trouser suit she wears in Revelations.

Ooh La~la, but you'd look damn sexy in that dress! ;)

Now you know how to say you don't want any fish when you go to China or a Chinese restaurant. Actually, you only know how to say fish. So just say "Yue" (remember to go up) and turn your head side to side. Hopefully, that means no in Chinese too.

Yue could also be interpreted as Moon, Month or More.

Mandarin=bu yao=don't want.
Cantonese=ng yiew=no want.

Turning the head to the side?? I don't get. :p

btw, i am loving this thread! :)

[The Dirt]

Side to side as in the opposite of nodding your head.

"Yo bu yao yue!" - I will scream this angrily at the Chinese buffet. Although, I think most of the workers are either Cantonese or Vietnamese. Whatever, as long as I get across the point that I'm a raving lunatic.

[laisan]

Side to side as in the opposite of nodding your head.

"Yo bu yao yue!" - I will scream this angrily at the Chinese buffet. Although, I think most of the workers are either Cantonese or Vietnamese. Whatever, as long as I get across the point that I'm a raving lunatic.

In that case you would just want to throw your chopstick on the floor, stomp around them shouting some obscenities about the gods and reciting some mantra, that'll get them scared!

[genji2000]

Every time we go for a meal with her parents. Honestly, it's irritating.

[laisan]

Every time we go for a meal with her parents. Honestly, it's irritating.

i think next week will be the last one, you can throw the chopsticks, i'll do the mantra.

[Chiefchess]

"So, what, are you a prison guard, prosecutor or a convicted criminal? I have an image of you as the guard in Oz."-Genji2000.

I wish!! Actually I'm much worse than that. I'm a public defender. We are the attorneys for people too poor to hire one of those high-priced attorneys located in their cushy high-rise offices. Thus, I am on a first name basis with the prosecutors and police officers in my area. Over half of my case load are clients that I visit (regularly) in jail, so you can only imagine the stories I hear!:lol: On average, I have at least two clients cry a week, and at least one who threatens to (1) fire me or (2) beat me to a pulp every month. Considering I have at least forty clients a week, that's not too bad.

I wish one would take a swing at me. I have taken various self-defense classes. I'm not dumb enough to think that makes me invincible, but at least I can get a few licks in and protect myself enough before the guards come to my rescue. Plus, the defendant would have to explain to his buddies in jail how his face got injured by a girl. :D

You can imagine that my time is well spent. I am learning alot of information, most of which I could do without, but at least one day I can write a book about it. At the very least, I can contribute to this thread!:thumbsup:

Think of me as a cross between Legally Blonde (short blonde girl) and Romo Lampkin (his ability to read people and his twisted sense of humor). Now you all know why I like BSG! The characters are complex, there is no such thing as "all good" and "all evil", most of the women characters totally kick butt, and you have the fantastic battle scenes. What more can a fan want (besides the answers to all the questions BSG has yet to answer)!

[BSGfan-atic]

Prolescum wrote:

I don't really want to go into the phallic size issue as it may well identify us to the fuzz...

Let's not forget, that size is not the only danger. There could be some, hmmm, "distinguishing characteristics" (from one who remembers the Bill Clinton years) as well, so if sizes, shapes, colors, etc. are going to be indicated, make them with no connection to reality.

Also, timbo wanted us to come up with a name for the gang. For a conversation starter, how about "18 Sky-Diving, Liger-Riding, Red Dress and Pant-Suit Wearing BSG Fans With Wicked Weaponry and Eye Patches." It isn't very catchy, I'll be the first to admit, but we gotta start someplace. I know there is better out there, so come on, let's have some suggestions.

[genji2000]

Your fascinated obsession with the form of the penis notwithstanding, but it's a good start for a name for the gang.

Obviously on the assumption that we come up with eighteen better names.

I think we should be called 'The'.

[BSGfan-atic]

Simple, enigmatic, terrifying in the implications of everything that could come after it. A name worthy of the Lords of Chaos (see Elric of Melnibone saga) and the infinite possibilities they claimed to represent. Classic, but let's try and shake some more suggestions out of the group. I would be happy with "Slave to the hottest band of genocidal robots to ever appear on television," but that might only be me.

[genji2000]

Simple, enigmatic, terrifying in the implications of everything that could come after it. A name worthy of the Lords of Chaos (see Elric of Melnibone saga) and the infinite possibilities they claimed to represent. Classic, but let's try and shake some more suggestions out of the group.

No, let's not give them a chance. 'The' it is.

I would be happy with "Slave to the hottest band of genocidal robots to ever appear on television," but that might only be me.

I guess.

[The Dirt]

News Reporter: "Do you know who perpetrated the heist? Did you see any faces?"
Innocent bystander: "It was THE!"
News Reporter: "Pardon?"
Innocent bystander: "You know, THE! Terrifying Heist Erections!"

[genji2000]

Torturous hoodlum explanations, more like.

[BSGfan-atic]

genji2000 wrote:

Torturous hoodlum explanations, more like.

Explanations about what, erections? I don't want to know what hoodlums must think about erections, especially if they've been to prison. Chiefchess has probably heard some stories along that line.

The Dirt wrote:

News Reporter: "Do you know who perpetrated the heist? Did you see any faces?"

They were all wearing wierd-looking rubber masks with eye patches over one eye, and wearing assorted pant-suits and red dresses, while riding ligers! They went thataway!

[genji2000]

Judging by the diagram I'd say he spelled "faces" wrong.

[The Dirt]

You're right, I meant "Did you see their feces?"

[Prolescum]

THE
Terence Higgins Ensemble...

[timbo]

"The black hole in the wall gang"

What do you think?

[BSGfan-atic]

THE - terribly horrifying excretions - gang?

[GoldWolf]

How 'bout "Timbo's Eighteen" ?

Short, catchy, enigmatic...

[BSGfan-atic]

Now we have to have a group shot of us walking toward the camera, jackets open, collars and ties open, a la the "Oceans" movies. Or, we could do it like the Reservoir Dogs cover. Just so long as the heist doesn't end up like the end of Reservoir Dogs...

And also, who will play each of us in the movie version of this? I nominate Jet Li to play me.

[The Dirt]

I nominate a chubby version of Ed Norton.

[timbo]

Genji is gonna be difficult to cast. Who could capture that conflict. That noble, shake a fist at the world, reaching for the moral high ground conflict?.
I am seeing something.
It is taking shape.
Streep.

She´s perfect. Merryl "versatility" Streep.

If she pulls it off, it could be another oscar.

How 'bout "Timbo's Eighteen" ?

Short, catchy, enigmatic...


Yeah, great idea Goldwolf.

POLICE: We are here to arrest Timbo and eighteen other dudes.

MAN: Well, that´s Timbo over there. The other eighteen, dunno, could be anyone.

POLICE: Okay, we´ll take Timbo and torture him til he gives us the rest.


............and guys, they start tickling me or pinching me, and I am gonna be singing like a lesser spotted songthrush.

[The Dirt]

Just be glad they don't have any of those Cylon ear torturing things.

[laisan]

Unless you have an immensely high build up of ear wax (eeeeeeeeew!!!), then OUCH!!

[timbo]

Congratulations guys, we did it. We lost a good guy on the way, but we achieved our aim.
Next stop, Vegas. Me Dirt and Atomic, finally got into the Admirals cabin, and we found a secret drawer in his desk. It contained an envelope. This is where we lost Atomic. He was the new guy. so we all knew he was the red shirt on this mission. Anyway, when I closed the drawer, I trapped Atomic,s finger in it, and his nail started to go black in front of his very eyes. It was then that he passed out. I cradled him in my arms. It was crazy in there, with Dirt and Genji holding back the security with a fire extinguisher. Atomic was slipping in and out of consciousness. He was lucid for a moment, and said to me "I´m cold, Timbo".
"Its ok Atomic" I replied, "It´s not gonna be cold for much longer"
"Am I gonna lose my nail?"
"Probably"
He turned away from at this point so I wouldn´t see the shame of his tears. He was a brave man.
"It will grow back". Meaningless comfort for a soldier who did not need it. A soldier who had completed his mission, and was happy to fall for his cause.
"Tell the world about this". With these words he slipped away from me.
I gently lay his head on a computer keyboard for a pillow. He would have liked that.
As I reached the doorway, I turned back once more, and incredibly, his eyes fluttered open, and with his last ounce of energy, he said "CONVINCE GENJI. HE IS THE FIRST DOMINO. IF HE FALLS, THEY WILL ALL FALL".
As we made our escape, I tripped over a shoelace. I hadn´t tied a double knot that day. I always go double, but that day, I forgot. Maybe on purpose. I fell, and the Guard dogs were almost on me when Dirt, noticing my absence, paused for not one instant, and came back for me.
"No time, Dirt", I shouted, "take the envelope".
His hand reached out, but it went past the envelope, and grasped my wrist, "we´re not losing another" he cried, and pulled me to my feet.
We had entered the building individually or in twos and threes, but we left the building as a unit. We left as one.
In the end, I dont know if was worth it. Perhaps what we found raised more questions than it answered. Huddled in a group in the car park, we opened the envelope. A few blurred figures, but no words. Prol and Wouter, the numbers guys turned it over. We had been looking at the back. This time we saw it. 12 + 5. Just this, 12 + 5.
One of the girls, maybe Westie or Goldwolf said "Atomic gave his nail for this, lets honour him fittingly".
So we agreed, the Vegas bash goes ahead as planned. Red dresses and wigs. Atomic would have wanted that.

Eighteen of us went in. Only seventeen came back. Was it worth it?, I honestly don´t know. It depends what we do with it, I suppose.

[GoldWolf]

*sheds a tear in memory of Atomic's bravery*

[Chiefchess]

Rejoice in Vegas guys! Atomic is not dead! :D

After the loss of his nail, he resurrected into another body at the spare hub that Cavil let me borrow for a few days (don't ask how I talked Cavil into that, you really don't want to know). I'm going to need therapy after that encounter. :crazy:

I kept up my end of the bargain. The cops still don't know who was involved, but they are focused on Zarek due to his history or terroristic acts. Go figure! I bribbed the guys at the morgue and retrieved Atomic's old body, replacing it with a clone of Rob Moore! That should mess with his head for a while. :lol:

Don't be mad at Atomic though. He didn't know he was a cylon. Heck, some of you are cylons too! I'm just not telling who (Now I know how D'Anna felt in "The Hub" when she was talking to Roslin). I'm sending Atomic out to join you guys at the Vegas party. :thumbsup:

I have to stay and tie up some loose ends. Later I will join you for debriefing to discuss the significance of 12+5. During the investigation, one of my sources let slip that there is a secret base somewhere in the tropics that has top secret information concerning BSG season 4. Timbo, if this information is accurate, then you probably need to plan another raid. I will keep in touch and let you know what I found out. :)

By the way, you guys did a great job! No physical evidence (besides Atomic, of course), no fingerprints, no video tape, no evidence period! The cops are still walking around with no clue as to what is going on. Of course, if the team does plan another raid to the secret base, I suggest we give it a little time to let things die down, celebrate our success, and start a new thread to cover our tracks.

Chiefchess out! :peace:

[The Dirt]

Timbo, my captain, we couldn't have done it without you! If they taught me anything in secret Cylon academy is that you don't leave your leader behind, no matter what! I would have gladly lost a nail in the line of duty if it meant saving you from instant doom. I'm sure I have some medal or promotion in store for me, but that is not why I did it. Atomic, I will pray to Zeus and Asclepius for you.

[timbo]

Timbo, my captain, we couldn't have done it without you! If they taught me anything in secret Cylon academy is that you don't leave your leader behind, no matter what! I would have gladly lost a nail in the line of duty if it meant saving you from instant doom. I'm sure I have some medal or promotion in store for me, but that is not why I did it. Atomic, I will pray to Zeus and Asclepius for you.

We are brothers Dirt. One day I will have the honour of pinning that medal on your chest.

Chiefchess - So, how was it with Cavill?
And another Heist? Excellent. Let me know when you have more intel.
Atomic was a cylon, eh? Should have seen it. Wait a minute, if he has downloaded, he can join us on the next caper. Cool.
I think we should go to the biggest casino in Vegas, pool all our money, and put it on numbers 12, 5 and 7.

[The Dirt]

I don't mean to turn this into a mental therapy session, but I had a dream about the heist last night (it also doesn't help that I saw Reservoir Dogs the other day). So, we were holding a bunch of people hostage for a ransom of diamonds and it didn't turn out pretty. We all began to get suspicious of each other. We turned on each other and I somehow managed to gun down the other heist associates with a semi-automatic that I spent what felt like 10 minutes turning off the safety. It was a blood bath. Holy shit, I'm Boomer!

[pagad]

Next heist: I want in.

I don't know how useful I'll be, mind.

[timbo]

Next heist: I want in.

I don't know how useful I'll be, mind.

Ok, this weekend, I´ll sit down and work on it. Any one who wants in, answer in this thread. Also, I need some basic ideas to start off. My brain is a bit dead at the moment. So, any suggestions for purpose, location, weaponry, etc. - let me know. We have me and Pagad to start, and of course Genji will be running security again.

[genji2000]

I want to be in charge of wardrobe this time. Yeah, either wardrobe/make-up or choreography.

[timbo]

I want to be in charge of wardrobe this time. Yeah, either wardrobe/make-up or choreography.

ok, all three.

[Prolescum]

May I apply for the position of uninhibited tease? I have some experience, and work well independently or as part of a team. My previous employer is un-contactable, but can I PM a list of suitable references.

[Chiefchess]

Can I be the behind-the-scenes criminal who is best at getting weapons for the job, bribing cops, and even "ugh" dealing with Cavil should the need arise (and let's pray it doesn't, as I am still in therapy from dealing with him the last heist).

I don't mind getting in on the action. I just feel my talents for corruption are best suited for blocking any subsequent investigation and making sure no trial is left behind.:D

[GoldWolf]

I have guns and can shoot and I know martial arts and also I know airplane stuff...

You can use my skills however you need.

Maybe we should rip off a copy of the last ep and hold it for ransom?

[timbo]

May I apply for the position of uninhibited tease? I have some experience, and work well independently or as part of a team. My previous employer is un-contactable, but can I PM a list of suitable references.

Tease?? Prol are you are guy or girl?

All offers of participation are noted and will be incorporated into the plan.

[Prolescum]

Well, there's a clue to my sex in the getting to know you thread me do thread.
I personally don't feel the word tease has the sexual underscore that you seem to have inflicted upon it. If the position of tease is unavailable, then I could run the cake stall.

[timbo]

I personally don't feel the word tease has the sexual underscore that you seem to have inflicted upon it.

You obviously haven´t been teased as much as I have. Week after week, buying them drinks, only to go home empty handed. Genji wants to be the choreographer this time, so we need a security guy. Up for it? I think Genji wants us to pull it off wearing pink tutus, while singing I feel pretty this time.

[Prolescum]

Can't I just be the mascot? You could parade me for 12 minutes halfway through.

[Stairway]

Sorry for not reading the whole thread, but who turned out to be a cylon??

[genji2000]

Sorry for not reading the whole thread, but who turned out to be a cylon??

We're not allowed to say as it would be a spoiler. You'll have to read the whole thread to find out.

[Prolescum]

All 99 posts on it.